When I was much younger I prayed for the privilege of becoming a martyr for Jesus Christ. Yes, you read that correctly. Let me assure any readers that I am not a person enthralled by pain. I hold no desire to be tortured or separated from any part of my body. I am not a masochist.
I was brought up in a home where Jesus was my best friend. I clearly remember my mother telling me I could always know that Jesus was by my side and I did not need to be afraid of bad dreams, being lost, or fearing to be alone. I knew beyond any doubt that Jesus was real and, though I could not see him with my eyes - my heart felt his nearness and love. When I was confirmed as an eighth grade student in the Catholic Church, I was asked, as were all my classmates, whether I was willing to live for Christ and, if called upon to do so, give my life for him. I felt the solemnity of the moment and the strength of the vow I was about to take. My "yes" meant yes and I determined to be the best follower of Jesus I could possibly be. There have been many times I have fallen short of that goal. I have not been perfect and do not claim perfection in any way. However, I feel an urgency lately that I have not felt previously; and I sense that the time is coming when I may be called upon to choose, as many before me, the acknowledgement of God or the ways of the world.
Persecution may seem to be an impossibility in our society and in America - where everyone is free. However, over the past few months and weeks, the loss of religious liberties for those of us who profess Christ as Lord and Savior, has become more prevalent than ever before. We have become accustomed to being seen as unenlightened, uneducated, intolerant haters, foolish and "losers." Our beloved Christian symbols have been desecrated with urine and forbidden from public sight. We have been told that our faith is obsolete, irrelevant and out of touch with societal norms. As far as persecution is concerned, this all is quite mild. Believers in other countries know full well that when they say their "Yes," it means loss of family, livelihood, freedom and death. Yet they make the same choice I did with joy and the knowledge of their eternal salvation.
Our country is growing more intolerant of Christianity as the days pass. Public stories recently showed that standing for one's Christian principles and beliefs may well lead to the loss of livelihood. In the workplace, standing upon Christian principles could lead to discipline, loss of job and possible litigation. Our beliefs are offensive to many. All of this saddens me deeply. I feel the urgency to become bolder - to make clear to all with whom I come in contact that I am not ashamed of the Gospel!
We who profess Christ should not be surprised at the reaction of our society. We were warned by Jesus himself that we would be despised as he was. I draw strength and comfort in knowing that I may be unenlightened in the eyes of the world, yet I have within me the light of Christ. We may be considered intolerant haters by those who attempt to silence the word of God as they have for over two thousand years; however the word will not be silenced. If called upon to die for Christ, I know my last breath here will be my first with him in heaven. With all my heart I want those I love sharing my eternal lifetime in heaven.
I am only human and have hoped at times that God would ignore the prayer of an enthusiastic, immature child. My vow remains, though, and I cannot turn aside from it. I remain enthusiastic as I watch the blessings unfold before me that have come as a result of the choices I made - my godly husband, my sons and their beautiful families. I have seen my granddaughters blossom in the knowledge and love of Jesus. I have been blessed with family and friends who have looked beyond my peculiarities to love me as I am. I have been blessed with a home, a job and a faith community in which I am encouraged to become exactly what God has gifted me to be.
I am deeply humbled and grateful to God for my life and the opportunity to live for him. Yes - even to be a martyr for him if called upon to do so.
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