I am on a bandwagon of late, and this is a chance to ride a bit longer.
I find it harder and harder to sit still when people are throwing around "cut-down" humor. To belittle one another with comments and sarcastic responses is not only rude, but entirely beyond the scope of Christian sensitivity. Every day comments are made that, on the surface, appear to be attempts at humor. However, they are seldom funny, and more often than not, have a cutting edge to them that makes one wonder exactly just how serious the comments are.
This is a very big problem among teenagers. For a number of years, my husband and I were the youth workers at the various churches we served. One of our strictest rules was that no humor that would demean another would be allowed at the youth meetings we led. It will never cease to amaze me how deflated a teen becomes when they are cruelly teased, and no reaction seems forthcoming from leaders or others in the group. This is bullying and tolerated, even encouraged, by some teachers and youth leaders. We have seen all too often lately, the results of bullying gone too far. It usually ends in tragedy, if not to a group of people, to the heart and psyche of the young person on the receiving end of it.
The people I'm talking about in this post, however, are not teenagers. They are adults. These are people who are intelligent, upright, honest citizens who work hard and have hearts of gold - until it comes to humor. I find this behavior rude, cruel and showing complete disrespect for the individual at whom the barb is aimed.
Words cannot be taken back. Once that arrow is shot, it cannot be retrieved. Too often, the comment maker follows with a statement to the effect, "Just kidding." If they show any sensitivity at all, they might ask, "You know I'm kidding, don't you?" At least that question demonstrates some amount of care for the feelings of the person attacked.
I did mean to use the word attacked in that last paragraph, for that's what it feels like. My husband and I have discussed this phenomenon frequently. He is a recovering sarcastic. When we were first married, during that period of adjustment when we seek to discover all the wonderful things about each other, he found it easy to make a quick remark, without thinking, and it would sting. Of course, I overreacted many times as well, but we did need to work through the idea that sometimes quick wit can be a dangerous weapon. That kind of humor is unacceptable in our home.
Another side of sarcasm, is the self-deprecating sarcasm we inflict on ourselves. Sometimes we make the remark because we can see it coming from outside of us, and perhaps feel we can make it less hurtful if we say it first. Sometimes we have a poor self-image and can't see ourselves deserving better than a cruel comment. This type of cruelty toward ourselves shows disrespect for who we are in Christ.
We are temples of the Holy Spirit, corporately and individually. What we say to one another, we are saying to someone who has Christ living within him or herself. Didn't Jesus himself say that, "Whatsoever you do to the least of these, you do to me."? I truly believe that goes to the area of cut-down humor as well. When we say something disrespectful, cruel and demeaning to another person, we are saying it to Jesus.
I'm not on this bandwagon to bring guilt upon those who tend to make these kinds of remarks. It takes hard work and concentrated effort to stifle the comments before they come spilling out of our mouths. My bandwagon is just a reminder that words can and do often hurt. Let's choose our comments carefully.
